Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Review)

Congratulations Guillermo del Toro, you are the most frustrating filmmaker working today. I used to be able to write you off as an overrated and untalented filmmaker – no more. Hellboy II: The Golden Army is a technical marvel. This film is beautiful in a way that surpasses everything that del Toro had done to date… combined… including Pan! Unfortunately, like every film he has made, the story is flat, the pacing is poor and many of the emotional moments just seem to hit the wrong note.

The film opens with a flashback of John Hurt (killed off in the previous installment) telling an adolescent Hellboy a bedtime story about a war between Men and the creatures of myth (Goblins, Trolls, Elves, ect). The visuals that accompany this story are not of the same motif as the rest of the film but instead they are rather like a CG version of a Quay Brothers film with wooden figures and mechanical gears propelling armies toward each other. The story then jumps ahead to present day and Jeffery Tambor’s Tom Manning upset that Hellboy doesn’t listen to him. He is the cause of so many of these wrong notes in the film’s first hour. Also Abe Sapien is back but the voice of David Hyde Pierce is not – this is not a good thing. So the story unfolds though too many coincidences and there are some action scenes including one in Diagon Alley!! There are some great references to John Landis and Jim Henson and some overly overt ones to Universal creatures (Frank specifically). There is a love story that never feels right and a bunch of relationships that are fairly unbelievable. On the other hand the action scenes are nearly perfect as is one scene in the middle of the film where Hellboy and Abe break into song! The ancillary creatures are stunningly rendered (as the fantasy world of Pan was) and final battle is a seamless blend of CG and live action that isn’t edited to death.

I wanted to like this film, I really did, but del Toro once again fails to connect as a storyteller. Throughout the film he either coaxes the wrong notes out of his actors or edits the wrong takes into the film. It must be all that time spent in his own imagination that gets in the way of him getting the human aspect of his films right. Guillermo del Toro is an utterly hopeless filmmaker who needs to be kicked out of the director’s chair and restricted to a creature house so that we can all enjoy his visual tour de force stylistics without sitting through his failed attempts to hang them on his lackluster scripts. Feel free to leapfrog George Lucas on the way.

C/C+

Hancock (Review)

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME NANCY GRACE MAKES AN APPEARANCE AS THE VILLAIN!!!

Ok, now that that’s out of the way… Shoehornin’ is the word I’d use to describe Hancock. Peter Berg’s film wants to critique the superhero genre while at the same time giving that big summer-blockbuster superhero-event widest-possible-audience feel. It wants to fit in an American allegory. It wants to have good actors actually acting instead of being superhero cutesy. It wants to play with our expectations but also possibly set up a new franchise. It wants to do all these things and pretty well succeeds in doing so.

This does not start out as an “origin story” film instead we are dropped right into a chase scene and our hero emerges and saves the day… well kinda. We find out pretty soon that there is little love for Hancock and that he has drinking and anger issues. Queue Jason Bateman. Bateman plays Ray, a struggling PR rep with a heart of gold (a movie first I believe) who wants to help Hancock in exchange for saving his life and despite some evil stares that his wife (Mary - Charlize Theron) gives when he first comes over for dinner. As Hancock’s latest incident had lead to an arrest warrant Ray sees a golden opportunity (PR 101) to get people on Hancock’s side. Of course the plan works as while he's voluntarily behind bars, the crime rate rises and a newly sober Hancock is called into action. THEN we get the twist and the intro of the origin story. All of this happens surprisingly fast – there’s very little downtime in this plot heavy film.

Berg grows in his journeyman director status with each films and this is no exception. The quick pacing, handheld camera work and high octane action that never get in the way of story or acting that was a hallmark of The Kingdom is taken up a notch here. There are some shaky transitions between acts and some bits that feel vaguely off but they more or less help to build to that twist.

Smith, Theron and Bateman all shine in their roles especially Theron who is the best female character I’ve seen in a superhero film ever. And as a superhero Hancock is unique. (Allegory in 3…2…1…) He is the only superpower in the world all his actions seem to lead to disaster for a lot of people even though his intentions are good and he does in fact save lives. He is alone, but unlike Supes, Hulk, ect he has no alter-ego in which to hide and commune with us regular folk. He just has to accept what he is, flaws and all and try to change what he can in order to make the world a better place. (Oh yeah his symbol and a repeating motif of the film is a bald eagle and his name is in fact John Hancock). The mythology of his creation is interesting but delivered in a pretty off hand matter leaving little to sink ones teeth into.

Hulk tried to go for emotion and failed miserably while Iron Man was content to forget all about that in favor of breezy charm. This one has an emotional side that is far better than that green thing but despite some huge laughs in the first 2 acts it’s not over the top charming. It is indeed a well rounded package and I hope word-of-mouth is far better than the critical reaction so far as this film deserves a big audience and a couple sequels to flesh out some of that Highlander style back story.

B+/A-

Wanted (Review)

Mrs. Pitt is really the only bankable action heroine in business these days. But you never really know what your gonna get when she shows up all guns blazin’. Surprisingly she has very little to say in this film compared to what the trailers would have you think. She is pretty much the shapely facilitator for James McAvoy’s rippled assassin… but not just yet.

The film opens with a helping of Matrix set up and a McAvoy voiceover telling us all about how much his life sucks stuck in his office job and how his dad left a week after he was born. This could be the guy we just witnessed get blown away after jumping through plate glass across the Chicago skyline and killing 4 assassins on the opposite building. This trite and badly staged intro is made more surreal due to the fact that this is the first time we’ve seen Mac putting on an American accent. In fact the whole first act of this film screams “set-up” and brings you out of the film. However, it becomes a little more worth it when Fox (Jolie) shows up and the bullets rain and rubber is burned. Even more so after Gibson (Mac) wakes up the next day with a attitude that actually feels believable (the whiney kid bit at the outset feels more like a role for Hayden Christiensen). One of the best scenes in the film occurs when he finally gets fed up at work and gives his tormentors their due. After which he is scooped up by Fox and his assassin’s training begins.

The Fraternity, (a little too on the nose) as they are called consist of a gunsmith named Gunsmith (Common), a knife guy, a healer and they're all lead by Morgan Freeman (Sloan, or Ra’s al Guhl). Gibson is told that his father (indeed the dead guy) was one of the worlds greatest killers and that he has inherited some of his “powers” that just need to be harvested in order to kill Cross – a rogue member who took out daddy and a lot of other frat boys. What follows is an extended montage wherein we are introduced to the world through our hero and he is broken down so that his skill level can be built up. We are also introduced to the great power the Fraternity believe in… 1000 thread count sheets!! They were started by weavers who discovered the secret of binary code in their weaves and thus decided they should kill people (Cross for some reason questioned this).

This all sounds completely ridiculous and it is. The comic the film was based on pretty much stole from a whole lot of other yarns (pun intended) and what wasn’t stolen is the least believable stuff but is all just a place to hang the action. And what fine action it is. Timur Bekmambetov brings a lot of his creative techniques that made the Night Watch films so great but tones it down just a bit and it really fits perfectly. The set pieces are expertly staged and never (ok once) feel like a Michael Bay looky-what-I-can-do moment. As the killing starts an the chance is joined our cardboard characters pursue Cross around the world but just when you think things are gonna go in a different direction the Empire Strikes Back leading up to the big finale with a V for Vendetta round the room bit and a lot of exploding rats (Willard maybe?)

Once Mac gets going he’s actually an ok action star though he might need a few more improving montages before he can take on Bale or Jackman. Freeman uses his persona to good effect here especially in the final act where he gets some big lines and even bigger laughs. Jolie as I said earlier had very little dialogue despite a large amount of onscreen time but they way she exudes confidence eliminates the need for words. This is a fun summer spectacular and as such the brain should be left in the Abby Normal jar on the shelf but as far as summer blockbusters go this bests all but Iron Man so far this year.

B

The Incredible Hulk (Review)

One can hardly blame Marvel for wanting to hit restart on the Hulk films. As one of their big 3 properties and second only in character mass appeal to Spidey, it must have been hard to stomach the fan reaction to the Ang Lee joint. I guess this one is for the fans but as a stand alone film it’s only just OK. During the opening credits you see (silently) the creation of this version of the Hulk. Interesting that despite the reset this is not an origin film and it is set 5 years after the events of the credits… which also happens to be 5 years after Eric Bana went GREEN. I’m still not sure what to make of that. But in the present day Ed Norton’s Hulk is hiding out in South America doing odd jobs, keeping a low profile and taking anger management courses. One small misstep sends William Hurt’s General Ross down Amazon way with hired gun and all around psycho Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth) in tow. Norton of course escapes but only after long foot chase and a teaser of a hulk-out. Back in the good ol’ USofA Banner has returned home to find his girl Betty Ross – daughter of the general (Liv Tyler – daughter of the rocker). They catch up but an ambush is in the works and we finally get a full on fight… one in which a slightly enhanced Blonsky is left a shattered husk. But that slight enhancement kept him alive and he juices up for fight #3 where we switch coasts (Iron Man already trashed LA) to Harlem(!) where Banner and Ross go to meet a not all there scientist type overplayed by Tim Blake Nelson. He succeeds in quashing the genetic changes of one outburst but in doing so Banner is captured. As he’s flown away Blonsky who is now totally off his rocker forces the doc to give him the Hulk treatment turning him into the Abomination and setting up the next villain in the process. And then there’s the final Showdown at the Apollo!!!

While this film doesn’t quite touch the lows of the former film, it never comes near the highs either. Lee explored the psyche of the character while Norton’s version is worried about how a lusty romp might excite him too much. Lee’s brilliant comic book editing, stunning visuals (non CG) and iconic superhero moments are all absent from this film as are the great acting abilities of Bana and Connelly. The villains though are a step up with Hurt’s no nonsense General getting a slight edge and Roth’s seething but never hammy performance blowing Nolte away. The tone of this film is more “bland damsel in distress melodrama” with pithy jokes tossed in, ya know - a superhero movie. Its also chock full of full on geek-out moments that will have the fans cheering which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Unfortunately, Hulk drops a month after Marvel Studios brought us the revelatory RDJ as Iron Man and this one just can’t hold a candle to that. It’s not an abomination but it ain’t nothin’ to ink home about either. If Marvel can keep all their output somewhere between this and Iron Man though, I’ll be quite happy with the master plan.

Geek Note: no need to stay for the credits – they bumped the Tony Stark cameo to just before it fades to black.

C/C+

Speed Racer (Review)

Here he comes, here comes Speed Racer. He’s a demon on wheels.

The all to familiar lines reinterpreted 5 or so times during this film and running during the closing credits had a dozen or so hipster kids dancing in the IMAX isles and singing along as their nostalgia trip was aided by a little Wachowski LSD. Of course like most trips you start out with awe and anticipation and close with rapture as the destination finally comes into view 2.25 hrs later but there sure are some stretches in the middle when you’re about to fall asleep.

Listen to the classic theme

But let’s gush for just a bit. I spent the first 20 minutes of this film totally slack-jawed by the candy colored eye feast that sat before me. A solitary Speed sits in the locker room then cut to the track and real life in cartoon motion begins. The film flits between several differing timepoints in an ADD firestorm of editing techniques that would leave Michael Bay speechless. Collage, CG, 2-D, rotoscoping, wipes, slo-mo, ect. The Wachowski’s throw a kitchen sink of fun at you in all colors of the rainbow. Oh and the sound, much like a race track wipes from side to side along with the edits. Finally things settle down and we start to follow a single plot line. Unfortunately this is where the film get’s mired in its own story. The whole thing deflates to the kind of long windedness that had so many pissed at the Matrix sequels and it lasts for a good hour until we finally se a second race. For some reason the Ws like their baddie’s talkative which kinda kills their menacing powers. Roger Allam hams it up the way the villain in a summertime kid’s flick should but they have him saying too much and the main crux of the story he tells Speed which partially motivates him the rest of the film rings hollow especially as it feels like it is not justifiably paid off with comeuppance for all involved. I think the film would’ve moved along much better if this thread was totally abandoned. To add some action in this wasteland they dream up an imaginary fight that Spritle and Chim-Chim have with a couple villains on TV which really feels out of place but does show their effort in bringing Manga style animation to an unanimated feature. One of the most interesting things is how they incorporate Manga backgrounds and video game concepts. At one point while Speed is flying through a track he is remembering a record his brother previously set – they show this via a shadow car that can be seen in many racing games that shows where you are in comparison to a previous time and it’s a fantastic lift.

(Watch the first 7 minutes of the film)


Of course you gotta have a big finale – and we get 2!!! There is a penultimate multi-day rally race with a big ninja fight in the middle that really gets things going again and then the final race begins. Just when you don’t think there are any visual tricks left that could impress you Speed flies down the track at colors mix, characters collage and action blends into an orgasmic explosion that just has to be seen… then Speed drinks milk.

For their part the cast is decent in their intentionally over the top roles. Sarandon is completely wasted and Hirsch starts off pretty good but eventually falls as I feared he would in to uber-earnest territory which mirrors the tone of the film which starts out a family flick but then has some cursing (actual and bleeped) in the last 30 minutes or so which slightly hit the wrong note. Despite that dragging middle and unevenness of the whole thing this is really something that has to be seen on the big screen – preferably the biggest one available… IMAX!

B/B-